2006 was a blur.
I was in college in New York, and not even the good New York, it was the gross New York; Poughkeepsie. I was the first in my family to go to college, let alone move out of Ohio. My siblings would always joke “Oh, Dylan you’ll be the one that moves away. You’ll leave and never come back!” I was always a little offended by this, but ultimately I did as they prophesied. By the middle of that first year of college I was out of love and out of state and slowly starting go out of my mind. I was beginning to feel older and it terrified me.
I spent a lot of time that semester in my dorm room with my headphones on. I’d listen to Wheat and Phantom Planet for hours and imagine my crummy band opening for them, running around on stage, people dancing – our music always sounded much better in my head. Sometimes if I was really depressed I’d imagine actually being in those bands, just like when I was a kid pretending to be in Three Ninjas with my little brother.
Honestly, that was one of the hardest parts about being away from home. Even though I wouldn’t admit it out loud, I missed my family. I spent the previous 18 years with them and now I was pretending to be too cool to come home for Thanksgiving or Spring Break. I missed a lot over those four years of college and my subsequent two here in Boston. My little brother was in high school - public school - hell. I wish I could have been there. It wasn’t until recently while getting things together for my upcoming wedding that I realized something that broke my heart – I barely know this person anymore.
I think that may be what terrifies me the most about growing up (old) is forgetting some of those things, becoming distant – summers at the cottage, scraped knees, catching turtles or playing Jurassic Park in the cornfield behind our house. It worries me that it will never happen again. There’s always so much worry in my gut. We do grow up, and grow apart and by the time you notice that something if off you’re old and balding and your little brother is now a little man. Distant. A stranger. I don’t like that.
So for me, Annuals “Brother” is more than just an amazing tune. Over the course of the song it takes you through all of those emotions. It’s an epic and it’s only three and a half minutes - it encapsulates all of it . It starts with a lull then builds to a frenzy, much like the one that comes with growing up and growing apart. The song itself tears me apart and it makes me want to call my brother and I think I’m going to do that right now. - DW
You can buy the entire Annuals album on iTunes.
Or check them out on Reverbnation.
Or I guess Bandcamp too.