I think it's known that I am obsessive and compulsive about my theater experiences. Yelling at projectionists, shushing teenagers and the occasional walk out due to unsatisfactory conditions are all routine. I have, since gaining a disgusting amount of weight, stopped with the large soda and popcorn but don't think food is a necessity at the show, progress? I like to enjoy myself. I like it quiet during trailers. Even the shitty ones (Adjustment Bureau?).
I like to think that I am in my own little world. The keyword is 'think'. It's clear that I am not alone and this is no more clear than when going to see comedies. Let's start by saying that I go through phases in my life; jnco jeans, Limp Bizkit, Zach Braff. They're all pop culture and behavioral bookmarks that allow me to remember what I was at a certain age. As it turns out I also go through laugh phases. Little variances that I wish I could put into words.
A couple months ago I was mostly doing the nostril fart. That’s when the laugh is in the top of your throat and in your nose. Almost like you’re trying to cough up a popcorn kernel. It can be quiet but in one on one conversation is one of the least attractive laughs, first is of course the biting the tongue half chuckle *shiver* Eww. My friend Greg actually once broke up with a girl because of her bit tongue half chuckle. It’s gross and has never worked for anyone. Ever. Before that it was the Chris Farley wispy laugh. Make pretend that you have laryngitis and are watching season one of NewsRadio, that’s the noise.
What I have developed into recently is the patented Jimmy Pardo blurt. I blame this man for bringing to my attention something that has been going on for years. I am the loudest laugher in a theater. This makes it hard to go to movies alone. I like to blend in. Which is exactly why my wardrobe is now full of plain white, black and grey t-shirts. This laugh has made it impossible for me to blend in to a theater while I’m alone. Everyone is looking at the lonely guy with the horrible laugh disease. It’s also hard for me to go to comedies with friends. Every time I go to a comedy with my girlfriend I can feel a tiny elbow push or a glare come my way telling me “You’re way to loud. Rango isn’t THAT funny… calm down”.
I like to think that I don’t care about the ‘haters’, because as we all know; haters gone hate. I know that whatever they think about me doesn’t matter, won’t matter and in most cases is not true. What I can’t understand however is how I have become the loud guy. Avid listeners of the podcast Doug Loves Moviesmight be able to hear a laugh in every live show, a type of laugh we haven’t talked about yet. It’s even worse that the bit tongue half chuckle and that is the asthmatic cackle. The only thing I have going for me is that I’m not that guy. But I think I’m on my way.
I understand this post is all over the place but I guess I just wanted to say: If you hear me in your theater laughing when you’re not it doesn’t mean that I think I’m smarter or that I like the sound of my voice or even that what was just said was the perfect joke. All I can say is that I like to laugh and usually will find any excuse to do so.