Name: unfinished business
Message: My boyfriend and I are engaged to be married. I'm very much in love and committed, but have one piece of unfinished business: I have never been with a black dude! Will this forever haunt me?
Dear Unfinished Business,
I could take this in so many directions. I could give you some freaky ideas for you and your fiancé if this is something you want to explore together. I could tell you "nah, not that awesome." I could explain why I don't think it makes a difference what color the guy is - so, maybe are you possibly a little bit racist? I could tell you about the dream I had about Kanye West. I could tell you that everyone has different skillz and what if you sleep with a black dude who sucks at sex? But it comes down to this: If you're worried about being haunted by not having sex with a type of person (not even a specific human you once had feelings for, but just a stranger with a particular skin color) before you get married to your fiancé, then maybe you're not super in love with him...
You can't really say "I'm in love, BUT..." Because if you're in love with a person, you usually don't think about getting with other guys. Love is supposed to inhibit your sensibility and do crazy things because you can't imagine being with anyone besides that person for the rest of your life.
And if your man doesn't satisfy you, which I suspect could be an underlying factor, then you need to either take the reins and teach him some stuff, or DON'T MARRY HIM. That shit is unacceptable.
REWIND to this...
John Legend - "All of Me": Speaking of black dudes... John Legend. He is beautiful and I wish he could sing me to sleep every night. He's also married to Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Chrissy Teigan and in the video for this song he sings to her and feeds her fruit and she's in lingerie and they take a shower together and he wears a gray t-shirt that seems super faded and worn out and I want to wear it to the beach over my bikini. But this song is beautiful and makes me want to sob. And it's really unrelated to your question but I just wanted to listen to John Legend today and get emotional. So, enjoy.