Name: Sleepy Me
Message: What advice do you have for someone who just isn't interested in sex with their boyfriend. I love him, I'm just not interested anymore in him climbing on top of me and sweating. Am I a bad person?
Dear Sleepy,
You are absolutely not a bad person! Everyone is different, and in my mind, it’s a big spectrum. There are people who want to get it on constantly, people who never want to, and everyone else is somewhere in between. I don’t think wanting to have sex or not wanting to makes you good or bad, normal or weird. But you should probably figure out why you don’t want to bang. Did you used to have sex with him and you’re no longer interested? Or has this been an always thing? Personally, I feel like the physical aspect of a relationship is incredibly important - but it might not be for you!
Is he okay with the lack of sex? Because if your boyfriend DOES want to have sex, and you don’t, that could be a problem. Not being interested in him “climbing on top of you and sweating” kind of makes me think you’re not attracted to him. My dude climbing on top of me and sweating is really a top priority in my life. I hope you’re at least cuddling, or staring at each other and making googly eyes!
There are also lots of alternatives to just plain old missionary getting it on. I’m not going to start listing them here for you, but I promise lots of fun can be had without him on top of you, or even inside you if that’s the issue. You should experiment and see what works for you guys as a couple. Get sexual! Or not.
But seriously if your dude grosses you out, you probably shouldn’t be with him... It just kinda makes sense, right? Loving someone and being in love with someone are different feelings. If I were you I’d do some soul searching. Think back to what made you fall for him and if those feelings are still there. Good luck, girl! -T
REWIND to this...
Say Anything - "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too": The first time I heard this song I blushed. The second time I kind of wanted to rub up against some furniture. Not really, but you get the picture. Max is a sexy dude, for a nerd. This is a sexy song, as tongue in cheek as it is. Listen to some sexy music! Seriously, it might get you in the mood. My favorite album that gets me going is The Black Keys - Brothers. Godspeed!